At what precise moment did I know exactly what you were, and what your name was?
At first, you were distant. I kept you at arm's length. My heart yearned to hold you, but my head told me I was foolish.
It has been so long since I allowed you to come this close.
But all the sudden, I was running, jumping; no, soaring through the crystallized air on the wings of a magnificent dragon, each swoop and spin enthralling me, and making my stomach giddy with anticipation of what was to come.
Enchanted, perhaps, by your magic, I did not realize that I was not flying, but falling.
The moment I recognized you, I wished that I had not let my feet leave the ground.
Down and down and down I fell, and it was far too late for me to cling to a mere fantasy. For you are not a dragon at all, but a vast ocean. Your waves are relentless and hungry, and immediately I am engulfed in an overwhelming current. One that pulls and tugs and keeps me under, and I can't breathe.
And yet, I am not afraid. I've been here before after all. I've learned to weather your tide the way an old piece of wood does. Every lap carving and bending and shaping me into something beautiful.
One day, I will drift to a distant shore. He will pick me up and inspect me and caress me with his hands. He will feel all of the smooth places that were once rough and ragged. If I am beautiful enough, he might keep me.
But I've been here before in this ocean that is the world's biggest lost and found box. Though he keep me for the time being, he will eventually toss me back into the swells. I will be hurt, and even crushed. But he won't break me forever. I will coast along these unforgiving waves. I will change, I tell myself. I will become more beautiful than ever! Has there ever been a time I have not been in this ocean called love?
It's an endless cycle. Perhaps I was only meant to become more and more beautiful and never belong to anyone forever. Perhaps someone will find me some day, and perhaps I will be broken and small, and frail. But perhaps he will pick me up regardless and care for me like I am a fragile flower. Perhaps.
Perhaps.
Down and down and down I fell, and it was far too late for me to cling to a mere fantasy. For you are not a dragon at all, but a vast ocean. Your waves are relentless and hungry, and immediately I am engulfed in an overwhelming current. One that pulls and tugs and keeps me under, and I can't breathe.
And yet, I am not afraid. I've been here before after all. I've learned to weather your tide the way an old piece of wood does. Every lap carving and bending and shaping me into something beautiful.
One day, I will drift to a distant shore. He will pick me up and inspect me and caress me with his hands. He will feel all of the smooth places that were once rough and ragged. If I am beautiful enough, he might keep me.
But I've been here before in this ocean that is the world's biggest lost and found box. Though he keep me for the time being, he will eventually toss me back into the swells. I will be hurt, and even crushed. But he won't break me forever. I will coast along these unforgiving waves. I will change, I tell myself. I will become more beautiful than ever! Has there ever been a time I have not been in this ocean called love?
It's an endless cycle. Perhaps I was only meant to become more and more beautiful and never belong to anyone forever. Perhaps someone will find me some day, and perhaps I will be broken and small, and frail. But perhaps he will pick me up regardless and care for me like I am a fragile flower. Perhaps.
Perhaps.
;(
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